fallen like leaves

There are days (like yesterday) when I wonder why I continue to restrict myself the way I do. No one is making the rules for me. No one is taking anything away from me. In fact I think the whole world would like me better if I gave up this crusade. And there are days, when the stress overwhelms me and I smell familiar comfort foods of my childhood and think 'Why cant I have some? Who will stop me?'
The truth is no one will. As proven by a relatively enormous slip yesterday. I can eat whatever I want. I'm an adult with no one watching over me and my conscience is the only thing that stops me from doing wrong and negative things. I wonder then, why my conscience fails me on occasions like yesterday. How have I allowed the world around me and the stress of the last month to harden my conscience to the point where stopping to eat some carcass wouldn't bother me?
For anyone, whatever their convictions may be, how do we stop ourselves when we are tempted to do wrong. And what is it that silences that voice when we decide to throw our convictions aside and sin?
How, I have not yet figured out, but I propose to try and soften my conscience again. I will begin a journey on towards the soft heart of a child. Even if I don't quite make it, I will be much better off than I am now.